Fat, lard, facking huge

Today is thanksgiving. Is it wrong that I put on my lululemons so that my stomach could reach its maximum food capacity? I DON'T THINK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

suck on that glycerol.

GREEDY GREEN GIRAFFE

Is it just me or do certain people hoard exchange students like a stamp collection?I'm not mentioning any names (Taylor Santa Clause), but it seems this certain someone has a bit of a fetish. I want to kill myself every time her stupid profile pops up into my newsfeed. Her status' always have something to do with Yogen FRUZ and every single picture of her is with someone who has better fashion than anyone in the valley (ie. A Foreigner). SHE'S A LEECH or NASTY SLUG THAT'S WHAT SHE IS. She is trying to suck all of the culture out of them so that she can become more worldly without even leaving Comox.

QUICK SOMEONE POUR SOME SALT ON HER

This is war

Hi, my name is.....

DOUCHE BAG

(i was born this way)

Hi, my name is....

FUCKER

(fuck you)

hee hee lawlzzz uo LOL

cell

My dad has started to text me.

His latest text said this:

Em: look up "crunk" in your dictionary. Have you gone crunking yet?

I don't know how to respond to this.

Work work work, girl you gotta work

I went to the gym today and a woman looked like she was wearing a toupe. If she bumped up the pace on her treadmill it would have flown off and probably nailed someone in the face and then into their mouth and then they would choke on it and die. Toupes are hazardous.

wow/cool tour of kingston

Kingston is facking hot. I swear, I start to profusely sweat at the drop of a dime. Walk in to one room.... my face melts off. Walk in another.... I'm thinking where the hell is my leg? Oh it must be that puddle beneath my body.

(notice my red coloured font, I'm just emphasizing the FACKING HEAT)

These are just a few of the perks to living here.

Let us list some more now.

-safety: Kingston is home to the federal penitentiary as well as many other fine jails. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I live in a place where I can feel very safe in. I feel comfortable because I know that they are locked up here and they could never POSSIBLY escape.

-people: F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S. Facking awesome barbies using lsd outside under sun. The penitentiary brings a lovely diverse community to kingston. Everyone has really nice tattoos.

-nature surroundings: Not only is the weather amazing, but so is nature! The campus is full of trees the width of belinda's waist and the grass is green. I can't forget the lake too! If I went swimming I would probably get flesh eating disease. yay!!

more coming from canada's FIRST capital

gurl, you brought whaaaaaa?

I moved in yesterday. I thought I brought a lot of crap. Turns out, I was probably the most sane packer on the entire campus.

Popcorn machine?

I need that shiiiii

49032850932582343248924 of underwear?

obvyyy

Water ski?

FACK YEEEEE

First of all, who would bring a water ski

IT SNOWS FOR HOW MANY MONTHS OF THE YEAR??

damn,

Should've brought my wakeboard and barbeque.

Mop da shiii up

shawwwty call 9-1-1

sean kingston's melting on the dancefloor

because I torched him.

holay macrolllll mary

"S.M. is getting my eyebrow pierced at 4!"

...................

"S.M. = got my eyebrow pierced!!"

the world has gone upside DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

shiiiiiieeeet

Horn DAWGGGSSS

SOOO i came upon this little treasure on having school dances. I agree with what this person said...for the most part, HOWEVER DO YOU TRULY HAVE TO BRING THE LORD INTO THIS. Whoooooooo writes that shat, it makes me want to barf on their head. STOP TRYING TO TELL ME THE LORD LOVES ME IF I THINK HE DOESNT EXIST. Its like they have an imaginary friend, basically i donnnnnnnt agree, so dont tell me to go hang out with your jesus homeboy. But theres no problem if you want to hang with him, go right ahead.

and dancing = THE DEVIL HAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOL cakes, damn that provocative music!

"MISERABLE HUMAN BEING"

Name of my first child; Misery.

It could be a very pretty name if it didn't mean what it does. Imagine actually naming your child that. "Miseryyyyyyyyyyyyyy, you drivin' me crazy." "Oh Misery, you are always so miserable." See, phrases like that would only make the kid feel worse. They might become filled with emotions that allow them to believe that by being alive, they are their parents misery. And what does it rhyme with, could you even make a poem with that name? Misery, chivalry. Guess what, chivalry is dead. Go die Misery.